Iwtl How To Attract Women : R/iwanttolearn - Reddit

Published Mar 14, 22
6 min read

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Though it's impossible to have every woman in the world want you, there are many things you can do to improve your chances of appealing to as many women as possible. If you want to know how to catch the eye of a particular woman, check out How to Attract a Woman.

Because this is a page about attracting women, I’m obligated by internet law to plaster pictures of hot women all over it. Enjoy. She sat by herself at the bar of the restaurant. Her only company was a book. I sidled up near her, two stools apart, maybe three, as casual as I could muster.

She looked up at me and there was a moment of silence between us so awkward, you could have stabbed me in the groin and I wouldn’t have noticed. Her face quickly went from confusion to disgust. My mind raced for some sort of recovery. Some sort of new, more clever joke to make up for my failed attempt at my original, semi-clever joke.

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In the past, I sulked away in this situation having embarrassed myself again. But this time something in me snapped — or not snapped, but rather, something resigned itself. I sighed and said, “I’m sorry, I was trying to be clever. I just wanted to say hi.” The air eased between us a bit.

It was a nice try… I guess.” I laughed, “No it wasn’t.” She laughed and I sat down next to her. There’s a lot of advice on attracting women out there. And what most of it misses is that attraction, seduction, intimacy, sex, whatever you want to call it — is an emotional process, not a physical or social one.

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You can say all of the “right” things and repel her. What matters is the intention, the motivation, the authenticity. To improve your dating life, you must improve your emotional life — how you feel about yourself and others, how you express yourself to others, etc. It’s not about learning lines or routines or dressing up a certain way.

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That may sound vague, but it has very real repercussions on your interactions with women. People choose who they’re going to be with based on how they feel around that person. For us men, it’s often quite simple. A beautiful woman makes us feel aroused, so we pursue sex with her.

But women experience sexuality differently than we do, so it can be a bit more complicated and hard for us to decipher what makes them feel attracted to us. But the principle remains the same. Women go with men who make them feel a certain way. There are a number of ways to elicit emotion in a woman, and the way in which you go about eliciting that emotion will determine the quality and quantity (or lack thereof) of the relationships you have with women.

I encourage men to pursue women with honesty and authenticity because this screens for women who are honest, authentic and conscientious themselves, making for far better relationships. The other reason I encourage men to pursue women with authenticity is that communicating your sexuality with women openly forces you to become a confident and integrated man.

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But in the long run, this reduces emotional neediness and molds you into a bold and confident man who draws women to him like a magnet. A Man of Status It is important to mention that there is not yet any consensus on what attracts women to men. Science has found dozens of factors, some major, some minor, but there is no overarching model that is agreed upon by everyone.

So it helps to find some underlying principles to attraction, a common denominator of all attractive behaviors and qualities (or at least most of them). And research shows that the largest common denominator when studying what attracts women to men is that men who are perceived to be of higher status around women tend to attract them more often.

They are the effects of high status behavior, not the causes. Sexual attraction from women is determined by status, status is determined by behavior, and what determines whether a man has attractive behavior or not is his perception of himself relative to those around him, particularly women. I refer to this concept as neediness and believe the degree of a man’s neediness around women will determine how attractive or unattractive his behavior around them will be.

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Whereas a non-needy man may talk about silly conversation topics, openly admit that he’s between jobs, but get very excited and passionate about his rock climbing hobby. Believe it or not, this man will be seen as attractive because his behaviors will be genuine, authentic, and non-needy. The reason is he’s basing his behavior around her on his perception of himself and not her perception of him.

He’s a pawn of those around him. He will only go so far. The non-needy man, even though he may be a bit aimless and in a downturn in his life, he will end up living an enriching and unique life that suits him and makes him happier. If a man values the perceptions of others more than his perception of himself, then he will naturally behave in an unattractive way around them.

All of the outward appearances of status and resources — the fitness, the nice clothes, the cool lifestyle — these things are a result of a man who is inwardly driven, a man who invests in himself and takes care of himself. Please note, I am NOT saying that a man should disregard the perceptions of others, or that he should trash or disrespect the perceptions of others — only that he should believe in his perception of himself more than the perceptions of those around him.

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Being comfortable with not being perfect. NON-NEEDINESS Feeling the need to be “dominant” or in control of an interaction at all times. NEEDINESS Resenting the women you date, or assuming they’re inferior or dumber than you. Treating them like children. NEEDINESS Treating women as equals, and having standards about only dating women who you enjoy and who make you happy.

NON-NEEDINESS Improving yourself only to impress those around you. Doing what you think will make people like you instead of doing what you like. NEEDINESS You’ll notice that a number of the behaviors labeled “needy” above are behaviors taught in other dating advice as legitimate ways to attract women. Needy behavior will only attract other needy women.

So if you’re an angry, misogynist who lies to women to get them to sleep with you, the only women who will tolerate your behavior long enough to sleep with you will be angry, distrusting women who lie to get things from men. If you are open and honest about your intentions and genuinely care about the women you meet and interact with, then you will attract genuine and caring women who will be honest with you.